finding the part i lost

i guess on more elaboration on what my trip to Ireland did for me.
it opened me up again to the world of history, books, poetry, and oldness.

growing up in high school i was the idealistic girl. i was the dreamer, the romanticist, the lover of scandalous history. i craved the stories of the monarchs, the wars, and the poetry lines that would move me. i was passionate and seeked it.
then college came along, took a couple of history and art appreciation classes here and there. but with the decision to go into nursing, i found myself strapped onto the sciences/ critical thinking boat.
once nursing school came along, i slipped away into the world of common sense, numbers, medicine...the rules and scheduling of nursing school is so rigid and structured. that sometimes i found it so hard to breathe, i didn't realize that something was missing from me.

it was like a huge part of me was snuffed out because i was so focused on succeeding in this aspect of my life.

Ireland opened me up again. it made me hungry again and passionate for the history. it made me crave once again for the smell of old books, yearn for the sight of buildings with stories, it made me want to read poetry again.
its delightful, this feeling. like i was suddenly liberated, to learn what i always wanted to learn.
so i am back... checking out books... reading on books... especially since i brought back eight antiquarian books... the thrill of reading poetry within those binded volumes makes me want to cry.
that was another thing Ireland made me realize: i love antiques and i love books.

the idea that object or book was an intricate part of another person's life gives me chills. especially books... in a time before radios, computers, internet, and phones the thing that moved people and help people get lost into another world was books. the books i purchased was all loved, read, and cared for by another person and it makes me all giddy inside knowing that i own a piece of history.

i sigh in contentment...

one day i will have a beauty and beast like library, complete with rolling ladders.

antique shops here i come!