the more i seek you, the more i find you

sometimes i wonder if in heaven we all get our own montages... or if we die and our lives our shown on that silver clouded screen, a very personal montage with all the beautiful and "it's so you" soundtracks pop up.
i have been reminiscing alot lately, maybe due to the fact that i am distracting myself from studying.. or the snow fall today makes me quiet my heart down.

one thing that has been upon my heart recently is "missing God".
and this is not a missing God- of being i am falling away, i need him in my life, save me from the depths of despair... but the missing him even more, as i get to know him even more.
how can i explain this longing in more heart? not being satisfied, as i delve in deeper my heart aches more for Him. it is like my spirit is craving for more.

and then i began to think about it, where did all this longing come from? this might sound Crazzeee or retarded... but a thought came to me and i am going to share it.

personally, i think that long ago before we were born, we were with God. As God was creating us and "knitting us" in our mother's womb we were with him. our spirits were with him, and it communed with him, shared moments with him, and i think those moments was when our spirit and God was having that indescribable relationship of Creator and Creation.
Once God creates us, our spirit is placed within that earthly body and we are sent, we are born, we come alive here on earth.
As we grow and live, that spirit grows and lives with the world and we forget. We forget those tender moments with the almighty one, we forget the meaning of communing with God, we forget. however, i believe that as moments such as this, the spirit can also remember.

and maybe that is what my spirit is doing, remembering, longing to be with the one and only God. glimpses of heaven longing, tastes of the everlasting makes me desire even more. who can imagine what it will be like when all is said and done, and we get those moments with our Abba Father. And those moments will last forever and ever.

so i miss God, as i search more, feel more, dive deeper-- realizing i barely scratched the surface to His heart for me.

this song WOW so simple, yet it says everything i want to say to Him.

have a week filled with His awesome presence and Grace...